It’s the start of a new basketball season. Last season in the JCC league, we won the championship. I started out last season doing pretty well. I was hitting my shots and just playing well all together. As the season progressed, I got worse and worse, and at some games didn’t score any baskets at all. The cause of it, I lost my confidence. I think I fell back to my high school self. In high school, I was always scared to shoot the ball. I was supposed to be the 3-point shooter and I was, but I was afraid to shoot. What was I afraid of? Missing. I was afraid that I would be taking someone else’s opportunity to make a basket. That if I missed, it cost us a possession. So I didn’t shoot often. After high school, I played a lot of pick up ball and even was a step on, on the UC Santa Cruz team. I red shirted that freshman year and then ended up quitting. The people on the team were just straight up unfriendly. I never felt like I was part of the team. And, I wasn’t as good as those people. I think I played even worse compared to high school. Same thing, I was intimidated by these better people. They shot better, played better, were better. To them, I was just some sucky person that they probably let on the team because they felt bad. I occasionally played pick up games in Santa Cruz, it was fun at times. When I got to UC San Diego, I played more basketball. Played intramurals, played on the weekends, played for fun. During summers back in LA, I would go play with a bunch of guys every Wednesday at my old school. I was the only girl and had to earn the respect of the guys (more on that some other time). But that was my thing, stand along the perimeter, shoot, and score. So, I started feeling more confident. I wasn’t so afraid of shooting anymore. I shot more and the shots went in. My weakness is that I shoot slowly, but that’s a different story. Being that I was out of college and I still loved playing basketball, I did something that I told myself I couldn’t, wouldn’t do. I joined a women’s basketball league. It was fun. Then I joined another. Two leagues at once. And it almost turned out to be three at once. Now I’m no hardcore baller, so I prefer one of the less competitive leagues over the other very competitive leagues. But I was doing well in one league. Hitting all the shots. The shooter. Then, this new girl came along. And basically ran me over. She played my position and took all the shots. And she made them. She was better. She shot and made them every time. So, my confidence took a dramatic drop. I was no longer shooting, I became scared again. Scared that I would be wasting my teams opportunities to score, because I was going to miss. I barely had any open shots, or so I felt. I would be open and hesitate. Honestly, she is good. But she came over to my turf and took it over. And I got intimidated and still am. She’s on our team again. I mean she’s nice and everything and she’s good at basketball. And I, well, I haven’t gotten all my confidence back. Some of it is there, but not completely. So, I shoot less, I hesitate more. And thus, am not so good anymore. I know I need to be stronger, to be more confident, because that’s when I do make the baskets. Our first game this season was good, I was feeling it. The second game, not so hot. I had baskets but I still didn’t feel like I did very well. And so on it goes. Hopefully, my shots start hitting again and I’m not shut out for the rest of the season.