I always hear about people feeling God’s presence in their lives and how he’s doing this and that but I never really had anything “good” to say until today. What happened may not really seem like a big deal to other people but it was a big deal to me. I have issues with being in small groups and sharing or praying. I don’t feel comfortable speaking in groups and I’m always too concerned about what people will think about what I say. Really it shouldn’t matter because it should be all about Him. But anyway, in all the past situations that I have been in where there is a possibility that I will have to be in a small group to pray or share something, it has never really made it to my turn. Today, I had a meeting with some people and they were going around praying and I was getting pretty nervous about it because there were so few of us, so surely everyone would take a turn. As it went around the room, I was getting more and more anxious and realized that okay, I just need to take my turn. And just as I’m about to go, I think I even started to say the words, someone else went and closed. It didn’t hit me at the moment. But shortly after, I was amazed. He is truly amazing. When it comes to something like this, where it should be solely on Him and He is still merciful enough to keep me from doing something where I feel so anxious, that is just amazing. It’s not because its just this one time, its nearly every single time.

I think this was a little lesson on trust. I know I have trust issues and I want to be able to trust so bad, but I have this inner battle that I’m struggling with. I’ve been praying that He teaches me to trust Him because I want to. But I need to do it in baby steps. Tonight’s events was totally Him saying, look at what I can do for you, all you need to do is trust and it’ll turn out okay.

Learning to trust…