I can’t clear my mind.  I can’t stop thinking about it.  The last time something couldn’t leave my mind, it was likened to a gangrenous cancer.  The way that was gotten rid of was a complete detachment.  It was cut off.

Maybe it’s the same – gah.  So stressed.  Even from the moment I wake up – the thoughts flood my mind – even though I haven’t gotten out of bed.  It’s like every silent moment is it’s opportunity to attack.

I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing me complain and talk about it.  It’s hard for me.  Sorry if it’s annoying.  Still trying to figure out what to do.

Was a bit encouraged by Jaeson Ma’s post:

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the Living.” Psalm 27:13

I’ve been reading Psalm 23 and Psalm 27 everyday lately and this particular verse kept sticking out to me. Perhaps because the words “I would have lost heart” were italicized or perhaps because every now and then I get to that point of almost losing heart, either due to setbacks, discouragement or disappointment (the normal trials of life) but I always somehow (the Grace of God) end up feeling a rush of encouragement right before I completely lose heart.

Losing heart can be synonymous with losing Hope. Meaning we get to the point where we lose our trust and belief in people, and even worse lose belief or trust in ourselves.

When we lose heart we often become bitter, upset or even unfriendly and begin to question God and ask “Why Me?” Or even better, “Why Everyone Else and not me?”

Losing heart can also be synonymous with Losing Faith, therefore when the scripture says I would have lost faith had I not believed, it can be interpreted as no matter what I’m going through or what I see I’m confident that God will show up. God will show up in these crazy people I have to deal with, God will show up in these crazy circumstances and God will show up and work through me.

I praise God for not letting me lose heart because Lord knows I really need it. I bless God for allowing me to have enough faith to know that he will always show up.

He will show up.