It’s been a whole month into the New Year and I finally have a moment to just sit here and do nothing and write. So much happened in 2010 I don’t even know where to begin. I think the theme of 2010 was SPEED and GROWTH. Growing in speed? Speedily Growing? I guess it doesn’t work that way. Haha. After looking at my outlook for 2010 from my 2009 post, I only achieved one goal which was getting a new car. Haha.

Somehow over the course of the year, I began to have less and less time to do anything. Life was definitely on speed. I became super busy all the time, nearly every day. Yet it still is difficult for me to pinpoint exactly what made me so busy. I think one of the things is work. It was the first year into my new job and the job definitely has me working longer hours, thinking a lot more, and stressing a lot too. I think stress contributes to the feeling of busyness. I’ve been attending conferences which I have to mingle with people. I have to manage people which is a whole challenge on it’s own.

Then there is all of Exodus. I had never attended a small group before. It all goes back to the fear I had of small groups and the talking and sharing. Before, the idea of small group instilled this fear in me – it seemed to be filled with so much pressure – sharing, praying, all the things I wasn’t a fan of doing – at least not with groups of people or people I didn’t really know. But I decided I’d check out Exodus and see what it was like. I’m always touting the Exodus core value of Freedom – you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Because of that, I was able to slowly warm up into things. I’m still working on it but it’s better. I really enjoy being around Exodus folks. It’s so fun and we’re so much like a family. Community is super important to me and Exodus has a great community. We hang out nearly every day and it’s super fun – I feel like we’re in college. Even as I continued to attend Exodus on Tuesday nights, I had for a long time never felt comfortable going to prayer and sharing nights. I purposely missed those nights. Then one day S. challenged me by telling me that “it wasn’t all about me, it was about everyone else.” That kind of hit me so I decided to go check it out. Uncomfortable, but I made it and have been going ever since. I’m still warming up to the idea of sharing because sometimes its still really hard and other times, I just don’t feel like it. But I’m beginning to see that it is nice to have a community of people you can just share all that’s going on (good or bad) and for people to pray for you. So, I’m appreciative of that.

I think I’ve also grown a lot spiritually in 2010. Through the various experiences, being in Exodus, being surrounded by people, I’ve really come to think about God, Jesus, and what it means to be a Christian. I’ve struggled with the idea that we live in a Christian bubble and it’s hard to bring people in. It’s hard to share about Christ, it’s hard to try to invite people to small group, it’s hard. It’s hard to even ask people what their background is. I don’t know why. Perhaps because I feel like it’ll be too much for people, it’s too foreign, it’s too intense. The last thing I would want is to scare off anyone. But it’s good to at least plant a seed and I think I was able to do it.

Football has been different this year too. I had to emerge as a “leader” and that is not something I had ever intended to be. I see myself as a follower, not a leader. But I guess God has really been prepping me through the past few years to eventually put me in this position. Who would have ever imagined that I’d be leading up the football team, leading people in prayer (oh my!), and everything else. I also know that I’m not the most motivational person out there so hopefully other people can motivate each other! Managing a football team is surprisingly a lot of work! And it’s hard when you’re trying to keep people happy. Football is stressful. Mission Bowl is a week away and I’m nervous as always. Yikes.

I bought a new car and I just moved too! Ok yeah that was random.

I joined an improve class – sort of. But I think the fact that I even considered and SHOWED up at an improve class says a lot. I was unable to get the nerve to go on stage but I did try the exercises. Anyone that knows me before would know that there is no way I would ever come near anything that involved standing up in front of anyone to say anything, much less act. So, I think it’s been good that I’ve been able to even be open to these ideas. Hey, God can do anything. ANYTHING.

I’ve made a lot of new friends in 2010 and got to learn a lot more about people and it’s been nice. I’ve also been able to stay connected with LA even though she’s in China. Good thing for this precious thing called the internet and SKYPEEEE. We were doing well talking on Skype about every 2 weeks or so.

I can’t think anymore. These things I’ve written about haven’t been too detailed. Oh well. I think the main theme really reflects on growth. I’ve turned from this super scared, super introverted person, to someone who is more outgoing, a little less fearful, and it’s been fun. A new me, if you will. Yet sometimes I still want to revert to my old self. I think I’ve been able to experience life differently which is nice.

Come to think of it, I think I nearly ate about every single meal in 2010. Almost. I’m never home and never have time to sit around anymore. Still need to work on having at least 1 night a week for myself where I can just stay at home and relax. But an invitation to go out and eat usually will pull me from my plans. So busy. Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays, are usually completely booked. Something usually happens on one of those free nights during the week and then Saturdays usually come up with something too!!

As for the 2011 outlook, I think I’m optimistic and looking forward to it. Resolutions? Well, I never keep resolutions so I’m not going to make any. I’ll just put things I hope for this year. Hope to find someone. Lol. Hope to be successful at work. Hope to be less stressed. Continue to have fun, make new friends, strengthen current relationships, and find time to rest.

Cheers to 2011.