..with trust.
I’m slow to trust and quick to doubt. Are those opposites?
I find that I often don’t trust people and I often struggle with trusting God. I’m very selective about what stuff I tell people and who I tell them to. I find that I am once again in a place where I really need to trust and believe in God’s plan for me. Sometimes I find myself too scared to do anything. Yes, I know I am scaredy cat and I know that being so scared that you don’t take action is really really bad. So I work on it and usually I can move forward with a bit of self-motivation and nudging from others. Sometimes it takes a lot to get me to move forward but I will eventually as a part of improving myself.
This time, I’ve done something, although nothing big, I’m really hoping on it. I also often get ahead of myself. My mind gets consumed with things that have not yet happened along with the uncertainty of whether they will even happen or not. I guess it’s wishful thinking. Perhaps that if I get to point B, this is how I play it out in my head.
As a part of learning to trust God, which I’m really learning to do, I realize that while I have certain ideas in my mind and certain desires, that what I want may not be the best for me. Yeah, I have a glimmer of hope – a glimmer…if even that. And I’m riding on that right now. But I don’t want it if that’s not where God wants to take me. And sure I still have prayers and hopes of what I’m looking for and I will continue to pray boldly for change – change for the better.
I even pray for giants to tumble. Is that bad? I was inspired by Jaeson Ma’s post, “Focus on your giants and you will stumble. Focus on God and your giants will tumble.” Giving up my giant to God and really focusing on God.
Learning to trust over and over again. Because if I really trusted, I would leap out in faith and not worry about a single thing. Still learning. Slowly.
Where is my email? =P (j/k….I know you’re super duper busy!)