Awhile back, I asked God to make things clear on the direction he would want me to go.  I wanted it to be clear, to know that it was His leading and not my own.

These past few weeks have been tough, been wrestling a lot with different situations, thoughts, ideas, and emotions.  So far nothing has been clear.  I haven’t been getting a sense of the direction I should be taking – I haven’t heard Him.

This morning, a random date popped into my head.  The date was clear.  That was the clearest thing in my head in awhile.  Is that a sign?  Is that God speaking or is it my subconscious making things up?  So then I asked God to make it clear if that was Him.  It’s funny though because I guess I never defined what “clear” meant in my head.  What makes something clear?  If that date was clear, but I’m still wondering if that’s God, then it isn’t very clear!  Or, I just don’t know what my definition of clear is.

What puts someone over the edge?  How long do I wait?  Am I supposed to be taking a leap of faith?  I don’t know.  I don’t know.

I still don’t know.  It’s not clear enough.  =