I feel mopey today.  Mopey, is that how you spell it?  Actually, not today, just tonight – not sure why.

The day went well.  I was super productive and got to do all kinds of interesting things at school.  I got to meet up with a friend from the old school.  I got to mini workout with push ups, sit ups, and various PT exercises.  The knee was kind of hurting today and yesterday.  I think it was because I walked down 6 flights of stairs yesterday because the elevator wasn’t functioning so well.  If it still hurts to walk, it probably means it’s not getting any better.  I still can’t get in the gym.  Some of the PT exercises make me wonder if I should do them because I think they might be strengthening more of the outer quad than the VMO and if that’s the case then that is bad because the strength or muscle of the outer quad is what is making the patella go out of alignment.  Wow that was a long sentence.  Anyway, it felt good to sweat.

On another note, I did enjoy tonight’s bible study.  Admittedly, I think most of the other parts of Romans have been difficult for me to follow either because I was stressed, so tired, or it was a bit stale.  Yeah, it’s hard for me to follow things where you have to pay attention to history.  I was never good at history.

Anyway, after going over Romans 12, it just made me think of how difficult it was to do all these things.  Parts that stood out are in blue below.  Renewing the mind.  I think renewing the mind takes acknowledgement.  It takes desire, intention, and focus.

Test and approve God’s will.  I’ve never thought about testing or even approving God’s will.  I, like many others have just thought that whatever happens is God’s will – at least in a general sense.  I know sometimes decisions are made are a whim and then you might realize that God wasn’t calling you in that direction.  But to be able to test and approve – now that’s something new.

We have different gifts.  Gifts.  I’m still not sure what my gifts are.  Maybe these are it or maybe these are just things that happen to me.  I think sometimes people are drawn to me.  I attract people and I find that I often attract strange people!!  Haha.  My friends tell me I’m approachable which is weird because I don’t think I’m that approachable, then again, I got all the randoms that like to approach me.  I don’t know what else.  I like to care for people and make sure people are happy though that hardly seems like a gift.

Be devoted to one another in love.  DEVOTED.  Dang that is hard.  People are hard to love.  I’m sure I’m hard to love too but some people are really hard for me to love. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood.  Other times, I remind myself to make a conscious effort.

Never be lacking in zeal but keep your spiritual fervor.  Dang, another area where I definitely lack in zeal.  Sometimes I’ll be very passionate and other times not.  Need to work on that.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.  I think I have the most difficult time with being patient in affliction because it sucks the dear life out of me.  But in patience, I should be joyful in hope, and I should pray faithfully.  In affliction, oh yeah, I pray faithfully, am I joyful in hope?  Nope.  I hope, but I am not joyful in it.  I think I used to be a pretty patient person but am less patient now.  But when it comes to being patient in affliction, that’s hard.  You just want it to be over with.  That may be one of the most trying times – trying to be patient in affliction.

Bless those who persecute you.  Bless them.  Do not curse.  This goes along with not paying evil for evil.  Curse people.  I feel like I’ve cursed a lot of people recently (in the past year).  It’s hard.  But at the same time, I feel like I have also tried to bless them to a small degree.  Do not pay evil with evil.  I feel like my previous circumstance was just being stuck in a very evil place with evil thoughts, actions, and people.  It was evil all around.  I really feel like the place was evil and that satan was trying to put a stronghold on me.  Trying to break me down and crush me.  I think I was being succumbed but I didn’t try to fight evil with evil.  I knew that in the end, God would prevail.  In the end, despite all the evil, all the persecution (if you will), I will hold strong, I will not play their games, I would let God help me rise above and be strong.  What happened?  Well, God prevailed.  And I didn’t battle evil with evil.  I battled evil with good.

Live at peace with everyone.  I don’t think this only applies to actual living situations though it can be applicable.  This was obviously a very trying experience last year – can’t believe all that crazy.  But I think this is includes just being.  Relationships with people, friends, coworkers, strangers.  It’s a tough one when you don’t agree with other people or when you have trouble respecting people.

Well, looks like I’ve got a long way to go…

A Living Sacrifice

12 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Humble Service in the Body of Christ

³ For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. ⁴ For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶ We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your^[a] faith; ⁷ if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; ⁸ if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,^[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Love in Action

⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.^[c] Do not be conceited.

¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”^[d] says the Lord.²⁰ On the contrary:

²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.