I think I want to stop playing league basketball.  Over the past season or two, I’ve realized that I’m not really having any fun.  How can something I enjoyed playing so much turn into something I don’t even want to play?  Maybe I’m just a quitter.  It’s not fun for several reasons, I think.  This is not our original team and hasn’t been for a few seasons now.  There are always new people which is fine, but none of us seem to play well with each other.  We always end up with way too many guards and the people who should be playing down low all want to bring the ball up.  We always lose.  No one is friends.  People get all crazy.  People just do random crazy things.  I don’t feel like I’m contributing.  The only thing it is good for right now is exercise.  Because other than my Sunday sport activity and this middle of the week basketball game, I have no exercise.  But I mean, I like playing ball, I just haven’t liked it lately.  So, it makes me not want to play anymore.  The bad thing about quitting is that I won’t have the exercise and if I ever want to play again, I probably won’t be able to get on a team.  Also, this means I will probably never play basketball again because I don’t really have anyone to play with.  So, do I want to lose it all?  Or just suck it up and go exercise?

I never intended to play QB when I joined this team.  But as our old QB left for China, it seemed like everyone just expected me to be the next QB.  I was actually very reluctant to do it and I don’t think anyone ever flat out asked me if I was okay with it or if I wanted to do it.  I mean, they did later, but not initially.  I didn’t want to play QB for 2 main reasons.  The first was that I’m a receiver, all the football games I’ve played in, I’ve received.  I know how to get open, I know how to catch, I know how to run after I catch the ball and I was confident in all of those things.  The second was that I had never played QB before, I knew that I could throw a ball well when playing catch, but I also knew that I did not do well under pressure.  Throwing a ball while playing catch is one thing, throwing a ball when someone is guarding your receiver is another thing, and throwing a ball when someone is guarded while you are being chased is a COMPLETELY different thing.  Being a good QB requires a lot of things:  the ability to be poised under pressure, good visibility, good amount of football knowledge, ability to adapt to a changing environment, ability to think fast, and mainly confidence.  Those that know me well know that I am the absolute opposite of all those things I listed.  So, why did I accept the position of QB?  Because everyone seemed to so want me to, it was like people were depending on me.  And it did seem like we needed a QB.  As much as I would love to play receiver, it does no good to have a bunch of receivers if there is no one to throw them the ball.  So, I sucked it up and decided to QB.

Let me tell you, playing QB is really difficult!  Let’s go back to the requirements.  Ability to be poised under pressure – this means I need to stay in the pocket, and be patient to look for a pass.  Peripheral vision can only help so much.  Good visibility – even though there are more than 2 receivers out there, you can really only see 2 if even that just because the amount of time you have is so short.  Good amount of football knowledge – people over-estimate the amount of football knowledge I have.  Just because I can catch and throw does not mean I know anything about penalties, what west coast offense is, or what a 5-2-2 or is it 2-2-5 defense is (is there even such a thing?)  Ability to adapt to a changing environment – this means if the plays we have aren’t working, I should be able to draw up plays on the fly for the offense.  I am not good at that.  If my intended receivers are not open, I should be able to look elsewhere or run.  The only thing I can do is run.  I like running (only when I have the football – not for exercise).  Ability to think fast – it takes me a long time to figure out what play to call next as well as decide where to throw.  Confidence – ha, this is what I need the most.

As game day got closer and closer, I began to stress more and more.  When you are playing on Defense and you miss a flag, other people on Defense can help you get the flag too.  When you are on Offense, you run your route and get open for the QB.  When you are the QB, you MUST be able to deliver the ball.  You can have tons of great receivers, but if you can’t get the ball to them, then having great receivers does nothing.  I learned very quickly that being the QB is the position that has the most pressure.  I get discouraged quite easily.  When I’m practicing or in the game, I must get completions and we must move down the field.  If we don’t, I get very frustrated.  This was one of the biggest things I feared on game day – not completing passes and not moving the ball up the field.

People said that Kairos had been smack talking and that they were going to totally bring our team down.  In hindsight, I really wish I hadn’t heard any of that, because it got in my head.  I didn’t want to play Kairos first.  I wanted to play a team that we would know for sure that we could beat.  But what do you know?  First game – Kairos.  We had about 15 minutes to warm-up after the first game.  We spent most of the time stretching and going over strategy.  My receivers did not touch the ball once before the first game.  I knew I needed to warm up so I threw with Kendrick for a little bit.  The first game was really bad.  I gain my confidence in completing passes, moving the ball, and scoring.  We would get on and not even get a 1st down.  It was really depressing and I was getting pissed.  I wasn’t throwing the ball well.  I knew where I wanted to throw it but when I threw it, it did not get there.  I was very frustrated.  People were trying to talk to me and encourage me (which I am thankful for), but I was just too frustrated to be receptive.  I just really didn’t want to talk to anyone.  Offense did not score at all in the first game.  Throughout that game I was thinking, “wow, I guess I really am not cut out to play QB.”  We did NOT score on Offense.  That was like my nightmare come true.  We didn’t even score, were we really as good as we thought we were?  Dlo tried to talk to me after the game.  He asked how I felt.  I was too angry to even speak.  I just wanted to be left alone.  I was not having any fun.

We had a bye after the first game and then we would play Harbor.  I watched a little bit of Harbor play and then I tried to throw around with my receivers for a bit.  We started the game and Defense did GREAT.  They took an INT and ran it back for a TD.  On O, we started to run the ball a lot more which seemed pretty effective.  I threw some passes and they were completed.  We eventually scored again.  My spirits were better after this game.  I was regaining some confidence though it wasn’t 100% yet.  It was great to get a win in.

We had a lunch break which ended up being much shorter than expected because they were running behind on schedule.  Our next game was at 1pm.  The line for the food was long so I went out to lunch with LeighAnn, her parents, and Marvin.  I went to Rubios and bought 2 tacos and they went to Chicago on a Bun.  While they waited for their food, I wolfed down one taco quickly.  I didn’t want to eat much because I would get sick since we had to play so soon.  By the time they got their food it was 12:40p and we had to go back.  We had now stepped into the playoffs.  We were seeded 3rd.  We would have been seeded 2nd because there were 2 teams that had 1-1 records in the round robin but due to point differential LBC got the 2nd seed.  1st and 2nd seeds had byes.  We had to play the last seed, Hope, and win to continue in the tournament.  Hope was 0-2.  We HAD to win.  I saw that their QB threw the ball very lofty (not saying that I don’t or didn’t, but theirs seem extremely lofty).  Our first series for O ended up in a safety.  Before our play, I knew we had to get out of the end zone and not get a safety.  I called a run, which was a bad idea.  I had even told my RB to make sure to get out of the end zone quick so we wouldn’t get a safety.  Hike.  Hand Off.  BAM.  Flag pulled in the end zone.  Some girl came from somewhere QUICK and pulled her flag before she even got to run anywhere.  When D came back on, Phemes INT’d again and ran it back for a TD.  We converted (I don’t remember how).  We ran more and completed some passes and scored!  We ended up winning 15-2.  I began to run the ball myself a lot more during this game because I was getting rushed.  Toward the end of the game when I ran, I began to feel both of my calves starting to cramp.  I made it through the game, but immediately afterwards, they were both cramping up and I had to stretch and put some icy hot on it.

Semi-finals was against LBC.  I think D had another INT returned for a TD.  So awesome.  I guess according to Dlo we were up 8-0 at halftime.  We ran more and threw some passes and it went well.  I knew that I had to be conservative with running the ball myself because my legs would cramp if I started to run.  I think either on a pass or an attempt to run because I was being chased, my right calf did cramp up and I fell over.  I had to step off the field for a few plays while everyone was so nice to help massage my calf out, feed me Gatorade, and bananas.  Everyone was like, you have to hold on!  One more game!!  LeighAnn had to step in as QB even though she never practiced.  Good job for her!  Way to be a utility player AND coach.  Finally I thought I was ready to go back in, so I did.  I believe we eventually won 21-0.

The other semi-final game with Kairos and Harbor was still going on after our game.  They went into overtime for what felt like forever.  We were all a little surprised that Harbor was doing so well against Kairos.  I didn’t know what to do between the games since my calves were cramping and other parts of my legs were starting to too.  If I sat, they would stiffen up, if I stood or walked around they would get more tired and I think they partly started cramping because my legs were fatigued.  Marvin said I should eat something salty so I tried looking for that.  Ate a handful of chips and some random french fries from Mindy.  Mmm, healthy.  My legs felt better for the last game which was against Kairos.  I wasn’t sure who I wanted to play.  I wanted to play Harbor because we already beat them.  I wanted to play Kairos for redemption.  Because the sun was going down quickly, the refs once again called for 17 min halves.  At one point they even said there would be no official half time because we were running out of daylight quickly.  Kairos scored first, then we scored.  At one point they were about to call a 2 min warning but then contemplated just going into immediate overtime.  Why?  They should just let us play.  The ball was bound to be turned over soon.   They did let us play.  Kairos had the ball and ran a reverse.  I think they were 3rd or 4th down with like 20 yards or more.  The Kairos QB went out to block and hit one of players HARD.  I saw the whole thing happen.  It was almost as if Mindy was blind-sided.  Everyone thought she had a concussion.  Kairos’ QB and Mindy were both down on the ground for a long time – maybe 15 minutes.  Mindy had an ankle injury and Kairos’ QB was cramping.  As players were injured, it continued to get dark.  LeighAnn went over to Kairos’ head coach and asked if they wanted to call it co-champs.  He said to ask our coach who said to ask our girls.  We said okay and Kairos girls said okay.  Co-champions were declared.

I do think that this was the right call for the circumstances.  More people would have gotten hurt and it just wasn’t worth it.  The point of the tournament is to fellowship with other churches and raise money for missions.  You don’t really get much for winning.  I can’t really say that I feel like we won mainly because they beat us the first game and we didn’t even score except for that safety.  I’m sure in their heads they think they beat us.  I don’t know if we would have won.  I think we had a good chance considering it was at 2 minutes and we would have had the ball.  I kind of feel like we were robbed with the daylight thing.  They can’t just call the game because the daylight is gone.  If anything, they should schedule a re-match for the next day or next week or something.  I guess co-champs is better than no-champs.  I also think that if this was the guys tournament or if this was a non-church tournament, there is no way we would have ended up as co-champs.

Anyway, I had a lot of fun playing this year.  It was definitely a different experience being the QB instead of the receivers.  Our receivers and tight ends made some nice catches and I apologize for all the bad throws.  Our running backs did great running the ball.  Our O-line and especially my center did great.  Our defense was great.  They had so many INTs and even the INTs for TDs.  They had great sacks and LeighAnn punted well.

Plays I remember the best…
I have no idea what the play was but a couple of times as I rolled right, Angie would be wide open running left.  Throwing across the field is never a good idea but I did hit her there.   On one particular play, she was wide open going left and long so I quickly glanced opposite and hit her.  She caught it!  Another play I remember was Vanessa taking a run all the way for a TD (GREAT blocking O).  This one play I hit Angie in the left corner again and she ran it all the way for a TD.  I remember thinking, how come no one is getting her flag, it looks like she’s running so slow.  LOL.  It turned out to be great blocking!  Another one is the throw to Natasha who ran it in for a TD, which was sweet.  I remember Phemes getting so many INTs for a TD and just all of defense getting so many INTs.  The sacks were sweet and so was the safety.

Every time our D was up and the other team’s QB would throw a lofty pass, I so wished I played D.  Those balls can be picked off every single time!  The thing with QB is that that’s pretty much the only position I can play because people don’t want me to get hurt.  I would love to play D too because I am greedy for INTs.  I would love to receive because I love running the ball.

I’m glad so many new girls came out to play football.  It was great to have new people and for them to play this new sport.  It looked like everyone had a great time.  I’m glad we had so many returners because that makes a strong group of veterans.  I’m grateful for the coaches who spent time to teach us all.  I thank you all who encouraged, cheered, and told me I did well.  I really wouldn’t have been able to do it without everyone!  Seriously, Everyone!  Thank you.  Each year, our team just gets better.  Co-champs this year, I’m looking forward to Champs next year.