I need time. When making decisions, I need time. I usually can’t just give a yes or no immediately, even if I am leaning towards one way. And even worse, when I’m unsure, I need even more time. I think it partially has to do on too many other factors than myself, than what I want. It happened twice today actually. In my mind, I was thinking that yeah maybe I am a little interested, but I couldn’t just say yes. I was waiting for something. Some type of confirmation, some thing that would make it okay to say yes. But in attempts to answer quickly, I said no. Too much hesitation.

On another note, we had Faith in Action today. Instead of having service, the whole congregation went out around the community to help out or just show our appreciation for those in the communities. The group I was in went to a local low income preschool to help fix it up. We cleaned up the sandbox, cleaned out a shed and sorted a group of items to keep and items to throw away, and painted the shed. It was really hot today. Though we were allowed in the preschool to use the restrooms and sit in the a/c to cool down. There was a lady there, she was in charge of the school somehow. She let us know what needed to be done and had the keys to open all the gates around the school. At one point while we were chilling in the a/c, she said, “I just can’t thank you guys enough for doing this…helping kids you don’t even know.” That line kind of hit me, “helping kids you don’t even know.” This lady was so grateful that people were helping others that they didn’t even know. Is that surprising to you? I mean, should that be such a surprising thing that people help others they don’t even know? It shouldn’t be. But it was. I’m thankful that she was happy that we were helping because that makes me believe that she felt His love. However, it also made me think that because she was surprised, that there isn’t enough of it. There isn’t enough help or love. Because if there was, she wouldn’t be so surprised that people would actually help other people they didn’t know. So maybe they should do this FIA more often, to show that people do care and that people are willing to help and that people in the church aren’t just keeping His love all to themselves.

Ever just think about people? It’s funny to observe people and how they act. People watching. I always find it kind of amusing how people choose their seats in public places. No one ever sits next to each other unless they know them or unless there are absolutely no more seats left. I was at the airport last week and as I looked around, people were sitting in every other seat and I too when looking for a seat tried to find one where I could sit one spot away from a person on each side. Then I also think about how people aren’t just completely friendly to everyone or just that everybody doesn’t just talk to everybody. I mean, we are all the same, just people. Like if you think about it, sure people are different races, different classes, different jobs, different personalties, but when it comes down to it, we are all the same, we are people. So sometimes I think its weird that we all just try to mind our own business. It’s also interesting that when people do talk to us, we often get weirded out or feel uncomfortable. It almost seems like if everyone should just be able to talk to each other without caring what other people think of them or without intruding in anyones business. I mean, shouldn’t that be natural?

San Diego is on fire. The whole situation is a little surreal considering that I do live in an area that is near the fires. The air is very smoky and ashy. Its hard to breathe outside and it is irritating on the eyes too. I can’t believe how large the fires are and how quickly and vastly they have spread. On Sunday afternoon, I realized that it looked kind of red outside and as I went outside, I could smell the smoke. None of us thought the fires were nearby. We knew there was a fire somewhere, but we had no idea that we would be packing our things and leaving the house.

Sunday night I had still planned on going to work and going about my normal activities the next day. However, my roommate made me a little nervous as he contemplated packing his stuff and was saying that the fire would be in the area by like 2am. I slept fine that night and got a phone call at about 5am from my coworker asking how I was doing. At that point I still didn’t know the severity of it. I woke up and watched the news for about an hour. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t really fall asleep. All of my roommates were up around 6-7am all watching TV. The fires had come a lot closer and the area just north of us had been evacuated. Houses <1 mile from my office were burning down. One of my roommates left around 3pm and my roommate and I left later that evening. It was surreal thinking of what things I wanted to pack and bring with me. Also imagining everything being burned and gone forever was a little stressful. Since I had did have time to pack my things, I took a lot of my clothes, photos, keepsakes, my computer, my snowboard, and my guitar. To think as we left that this place could be gone was unreal.

I was able to stay at a friends house in La Jolla for the past two nights. The air over there is still bad even though it is further away. It’s been two days and it looks like we can return back to the house. The area by work is still under mandatory evacuation and our offices were open. How ridiculous is that?! I went there today to email myself a few files and it was so smoky and difficult to breathe and see. I can’t believe there were people actually working in the office. Its insane.

So many people lost their homes and so many people have been evacuated. I don’t think these fires are going to end very soon.

Please keep your thoughts and prayers with the people in San Diego as well as with the firefighters who are doing their best to protect people and homes.

San Diego is on FIRE.

Stress triggered headaches suck.

Just because some people are quiet doesn’t make them unfriendly.