I can’t wait til it ends so the nightmares will stop. =
Author Archives: The Yellow Forest
Parking Tap
If you’ve driven with me before, you know I hate and have great difficulty parallel parking my car. I can’t see jack out the back and can’t tell how far away I am from the cars. Today I went over to C’s place and there was a premium parking spot right in front. It looked a little tight but it was right in front so I decided to try. My first attempt I went in too sharp and then a car was waiting for me – so I got extra nervous. Then I tried again and then I still couldn’t see and then there were all these people on the sidewalk so I got even more nervous because I was afraid I might tap the car behind me and that would be NG and EXTRA NG with people watching. So I gave up and drove away. How embarrassing. =
I parked extra extra far away and walked to C’s place. Then as I waited for C to open the door, this corolla tries to park in the spot. It’s an older man and woman and they try several times and they get into the spot fine. But then for whatever reason, they keep backing up and I was thinking, “hmm, he’s getting awfully close to that Nissan.” Then he pulls forward again. He’s in the spot perfectly already so I’m not sure what he’s doing (but maybe he can’t see either). Then he decides to back up again. Back up…back up…back up…um…TAP! He totally taps the car behind him!!! I was just staring at them. Then he pulls forward and parks as if nothing happened. Just at that time, C came so went in and didn’t see if they even checked the other person’s car. But I’m so glad that it wasn’t me!!! And so glad people weren’t watching! I should practice parking my car sometime lol.
Bolt to the Q
It’s been a long time since I’ve actually wanted to post pictures of people on my blog. I usually try to not even mention names as to keep things somewhat private. I kinda want to post our post-race picture because I like it a lot. :) But too bad…lol.
F, C, and I ran in the Chargers/Kaiser Bolt to the Q 5K on Saturday. It was pretty fun. TYP kindly dropped us off super duper early at 6:15am at the start. The race would start at Murphy Canyon Rd near Aero drive and end at the 50 yard line in the stadium. We had signed up for this race awhile ago because I wanted to do an “official” 5K to see how fast I could run a 5K. The last official one I did was back in 2006 at the La Jolla 5K/Half Marathon which I ran it in 31:56/10:16 pace. We picked this one because it sounded the coolest – getting to run into the stadium and onto the field. Though the actual reality of it was that it wasn’t THAT cool..lol…because you couldn’t stand on the grass or play around lol. Anyway…
The course for this race was primarily downhill which is good 5K for new runners. It also makes it a fast one. Downhill however is not good for all the injuries we came into the race with. F’s calf was injured, C’s calf was injured, and my knee has been pretty jacked. All these injuries but F & I still PR’d which was great. Our goal was to run it under 30 minutes – which was also my goal back in October. There were supposedly 3000 runners and the first 2500 would get Chargers headbands. We joked that we better make it in and not get beat by people.
The start of the race wasn’t so good. My knee was hurting right from the get go so I was lagging behind. I think everyone was hurting a bit too lol. The first mile was about right at 10 minutes. If we were going to make it under 30 minutes we’d have to pick up the pace. There was some slight incline in mile 1 – totally didn’t anticipate that – it was mildly difficult for a short period of time but doable. Mile 2 was downhill – making it super fast and somewhat painful – though my knee actually didn’t hurt that much once it has warmed up a bit. I believe mile 2 ended up roughly at a 8:35 pace. Mile 3 was in some trail area that ended up being very narrow (for the amount of people that were running). You could run about 3 people wide. It was hard to pass people. Mile 3 ended up around 9:20 pace. These were all unofficial splits from my watch. Official time?
- Pace: 9:20 / Chip Time: 29:00:00 / Clock Time: 31:04:00
Sweetness. 29 flat. I bet we could go faster too since the splits were so varied and we were all injured. Next 5K goal – sub 29. :)
Oh yeah, we got our headbands. :)
:)
What? Is that a smiley face? Ha, surprised myself. ;)
Was planning on taking my team out for dinner since one of the girls is going on vacay before my end. We all went out and I was going to treat everyone and you know what happened? They treated me. Wow. So touched. :)
They really like me. :) They kept telling me I was a good manager and one guy even said I was the coolest manager he had ever had. That’s so nice.
One of the things about being in charge is that you want to be liked. You never want to be the one that people starting talking bout when you step out of the room. It’s nice to be liked.
Funny thing too – they asked, “how are you always so calm?” So even keeled. Funny they don’t know how NOT CALM I am all the time. I guess I put on a good face when I’m there in efforts to be the buffer. If I’m calm, it helps them not freak out. :)
Ah, I’m going to miss my team.
Light Prevails
I had just finished my run at the lake and found a nice spot to stretch. There weren’t many people around and I had a perfect view of the lake and the beginning of a sunset. I was staring at the sky and clouds and the sun behind the clouds and thought that there would be a really pretty sunset today. I like sunsets. I like them. A lot. With the sun behind the clouds, it created a glowing silver lining. Glowing. I couldn’t help but think of recent events and what I’m going through at the moment. Silver lining. And so I thought, at least there’s a silver lining. As I stared into the sun, the clouds began to move. The sun started to get brighter and brighter until it was only surrounded by the clouds that were just covering it. I was fixated and stared into the sun so much I couldn’t see anything else. It became SO BRIGHT. At that moment, I smiled. God’s light is so strong that nothing can hold it back. I was reminded at how strong and powerful He is – that even in darkness, His light shines through. His light shines brighter than all. If you think about being in a dark room with the door closed and all you can see is the light in the crack – you become fixated on that little bit of light. That little bit of light in the darkness brings hopes. On the contrary, in a bright room, you don’t see darkness. Light prevails. Light prevails in the darkness. Darkness does not prevail in the light. Staring into the sun and watching it get brighter and brighter reminded me that redemption is beautiful. Light in darkness reminded me that grace is beautiful.
The past few days have been really rough – I have been so stressed that I haven’t been able to sleep. It will all be over so soon. 4 more days. Today was a good reminder that in the end, God wins. His light can overcome the darkness. His light is so bright that once you see it, you can’t see anything else. Let light prevail.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. – John 1:5
It Never Ceases
I’m still trying to figure it all out. As the last days approach, it’s still difficult. I feel like I just continue to be ripped apart – that I can’t be freed without being torn to shreds, without being brought down in anyway they can.
I’m trying to remember what L. told me awhile back – that God will protect His people – that nothing is going to crumble until I’m out.
I’m just struggling to hold on right now. They will take anything they can from me and wear me thin up until the very last minute.
It never ceases to get crazier, to get worse – to cease. Never.
Because they can’t stand the sight of someone being happy or successful. They can’t possibly understand someone else’s perspective. They can’t understand the need to defend your own people.
I am so tired. I just want it to end. The countdown has begun – so close yet so far away.
Please God, just help me last, help me have no fears, help me triumph over them, let it be in my favor, let Your glory shine, help me send a message, Your message, be with me every single second in my actions and words, let me conquer those fighting against me, let me be courageous, let Your power take over, overcome, show them what they’re doing and what they’ve done, help them make realizations, help them change.
—
Troubles chasing me again,
Breaking down my best defense,
I’m looking, God, I’m looking for you
Weary just won’t let me rest and fear is filling up my head.
I’m longing, God I’m longing for you
But I will find you in the place I’m in, find you when I’m at my end,
Find you when there’s nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you’ll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I’ll find you on my knees.
-Kari Jobe
Grinding It Out
Man, I’ve been unhappy for a long time and this can clearly be seen in all of my posts in the past year or so. It’s almost over. I’m so close. Just need to get through this week and next week will be easy peasy. This week will be very busy. Oh well. Need to grind it out and whatever’s done is done and whatever isn’t isn’t. Ha, that’s just like using the phrase, “it is what it is” (by the way, I highly dislike that completely useless meaningless phrase.)
It’s definitely been a journey. A journey of wrestling with God.
It won’t be long before I’m gone. It won’t be long. Let’s grind it out and make it through.
God is bigger than you and He’s got my back.
Encouraged
Totally encouraged this morning by a note..err..paper left by F. I would post a picture but my phone is failing. Lol.
A printed picture of the girl from BRAVE. Sticky note pointing to her: This is you with poofy red hair (and a bow). Sticky Note pointing to the word BRAVE: Today you will be “BRAVE”.
Have Faith, you’ll be fine. :)
Aww, I was so touched..seriously. :)
//edit: pic here
Mentally Weak
I feel like I’m SO mentally weak.
Letting bad thoughts infiltrate my mind.
Need a constant reminder that God is with me, He is powerful, and that I shouldn’t fear.
Let your faith be bigger than your fears.
I don’t owe you anything. Nothing.
God is in control and He will take care of me.
Fear not, for I am with you. If God is for us, who can be against us?
LET HOPE ARISE AND DARKNESS TREMBLE.
My God is bigger than you and so much more powerful. He can protect me.
Feelin’ Uneasy…
Beloved, look for continuing resolution to stubborn problems. You’re making progress, but you are not quite at the point of victory. Much of this has to do with things that are not under your control, but in the hands of other people. Rest assured that I am on your side and with you. The flow of My Spirit will bring you to a place of resolute triumph, says the Lord. Just keep moving, and do not give up.
2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place.
– Marsha Burns