Author Archives: The Yellow Forest

12.31.06
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Brr…

Finally moved in. Moved in. Not settled in. The last 4-5 days/nights were spent moving. We did a pretty good job. Moved Tues-Fri and cleaned on Friday. Now its time to unpack. I think the only good thing about moving is that you end up getting rid of stuff. Clean out the old stuff that you don’t need. Oh yeah, its also a ridiculous workout. My arms were sore every single day. In fact, I think I pulled something in my left arm while trying to move heavy objects up the stairs. But we’re getting there slowly.

It’s ridiculously cold here. It’s <55 degrees Fahrenheit in this house. That’s ridiculous. 55 degrees. Usually that’s the temperature OUTSIDE, not INSIDE. In the mornings, when I’m still in bed and wake up, its freezing. If I touch any other part of the bed other than where I am (basically move), the bed is so cold! And don’t even bother going outside or opening the garage. You’ll pretty much freeze to death. What the heck! This is San Diego. Supposedly the excuse is that we’re in the canyon. Brr!

12.25.06
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Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

I can’t believe that Christmas is here already. Christmas in the workplace is interesting. In order to make sure you don’t offend anyone, “happy holidays” is used. I suppose that is the safe way to well-wish someone. Some people celebrate Christmas, some celebrate Hanukkah, and others don’t celebrate anything (oh, I guess there is Kwanzaa too, but I don’t know too much about that). So we walk around the workplace wishing happy holidays which is a little strange. I guess before being in the work field, I never even thought about how “the holidays” affect different people.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the gift giving, spending time with people, and well wishing that I find myself forgetting what Christmas is all about. Whether its Christmas or life, I try to remind myself of the bigger picture.

So I wish you all a Merry Christmas:

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”- Isaiah 9:6

12.23.06
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Moving Quickly

It’s set, I’m moving again. We need to be moved out by the end of the month which is in a week. The timing is kind of bad, right around the holidays. Everything feels so rushed. Hopefully, I can actually get settled this time. I’ve been in the current place with a roommate for 4 months and to myself for 2. The new place will be different, but good I hope.

Work has been stressful. It’s kind of non-stop. But I’m hanging in there. Working hard.

As always, I’ve forgotten what I started to write about or what I really wanted to write about.

12.10.06
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Thoughts of Late…

Would it be too easy if our thoughts wrote themselves? As nerdy as it sounds, I always feel like I’m writing blog entries in my head. But whenever I sit down to write something, I can’t think of anything.

I want to write about how life was just beginning to be stable this past year, but now its changed. I want to write about what happens to people over time and how people change. I want to write about how its difficult to really know people, to figure them out. I want to write about work and how its been stressing me out.

I want to write about a lot of things, but not just in any way…

2 more weeks until Christmas. I’m almost done shopping. Funny how its difficult to get gifts that fit people or that people might like.

I’m going to go wrap presents.

12.03.06
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Confidence Factor

It’s the start of a new basketball season. Last season in the JCC league, we won the championship. I started out last season doing pretty well. I was hitting my shots and just playing well all together. As the season progressed, I got worse and worse, and at some games didn’t score any baskets at all. The cause of it, I lost my confidence. I think I fell back to my high school self. In high school, I was always scared to shoot the ball. I was supposed to be the 3-point shooter and I was, but I was afraid to shoot. What was I afraid of? Missing. I was afraid that I would be taking someone else’s opportunity to make a basket. That if I missed, it cost us a possession. So I didn’t shoot often. After high school, I played a lot of pick up ball and even was a step on, on the UC Santa Cruz team. I red shirted that freshman year and then ended up quitting. The people on the team were just straight up unfriendly. I never felt like I was part of the team. And, I wasn’t as good as those people. I think I played even worse compared to high school. Same thing, I was intimidated by these better people. They shot better, played better, were better. To them, I was just some sucky person that they probably let on the team because they felt bad. I occasionally played pick up games in Santa Cruz, it was fun at times. When I got to UC San Diego, I played more basketball. Played intramurals, played on the weekends, played for fun. During summers back in LA, I would go play with a bunch of guys every Wednesday at my old school. I was the only girl and had to earn the respect of the guys (more on that some other time). But that was my thing, stand along the perimeter, shoot, and score. So, I started feeling more confident. I wasn’t so afraid of shooting anymore. I shot more and the shots went in. My weakness is that I shoot slowly, but that’s a different story. Being that I was out of college and I still loved playing basketball, I did something that I told myself I couldn’t, wouldn’t do. I joined a women’s basketball league. It was fun. Then I joined another. Two leagues at once. And it almost turned out to be three at once. Now I’m no hardcore baller, so I prefer one of the less competitive leagues over the other very competitive leagues. But I was doing well in one league. Hitting all the shots. The shooter. Then, this new girl came along. And basically ran me over. She played my position and took all the shots. And she made them. She was better. She shot and made them every time. So, my confidence took a dramatic drop. I was no longer shooting, I became scared again. Scared that I would be wasting my teams opportunities to score, because I was going to miss. I barely had any open shots, or so I felt. I would be open and hesitate. Honestly, she is good. But she came over to my turf and took it over. And I got intimidated and still am. She’s on our team again. I mean she’s nice and everything and she’s good at basketball. And I, well, I haven’t gotten all my confidence back. Some of it is there, but not completely. So, I shoot less, I hesitate more. And thus, am not so good anymore. I know I need to be stronger, to be more confident, because that’s when I do make the baskets. Our first game this season was good, I was feeling it. The second game, not so hot. I had baskets but I still didn’t feel like I did very well. And so on it goes. Hopefully, my shots start hitting again and I’m not shut out for the rest of the season.

11.24.06
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Looks Like You Gained Some Weight

It must be a miracle that I’m not anorexic or something. I already know that I’m not the strongest person inside, but could you imagine if I was that weak, if I had tremendously low self-esteem and self-confidence. That would just be..a disaster?

I blame it on culture because I don’t know, don’t want to, accept the fact that people are oblivious to the fact of what is appropriate and what is not. I blame it on myself because I don’t have the ability to express myself on the outside. I can get all fumed up inside, but I can’t do it on the outside. I am unable to show people how I really feel. I know that’s not good, for me, or for others. But that’s the way it is. So perhaps, I’m causing my own problem or rather, not helping it.

Even so, does that give people the right to blatantly make negative comments about how you look or what you need to change about your body?

Consider it luck or whatever you want to call it that I’m not..ill. That I’m not jumping to solutions of starving myself or puking my brains out or exercising until I pass out.

Or maybe..I should.

11.22.06
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Hallways

My work station used to be in a large area where cubicles covered half the floor. Now that we’ve moved, we are located in more of a suite-type office. It’s the kind similar to doctors offices, where you go into a building and there is a long hallway with large doors on both sides running from end to end.

I wonder if there’s some type of hallway behavior or hallway etiquette that people tend to follow. I’m not talking about walking on the right or left side. I mean, when you are walking down the long hallway in one direction and another person is walking towards you. Do you stare at the other person while they are walking towards you? Do you mind your own business? Do you start a conversation? Do your eyes meet when you cross? Do you say hello? Do you plain out ignore them all the way? I think the common thing I’ve noticed is that people see you on the other end and then look away. Mind your own business and when you cross, look up and smile or say hello. At least that’s what I’ve been doing. Although if I’m minding my own business the second after I spot them, I can’t tell if they were looking at me the whole time. I have a feeling not. I also think that since it is an office building, you tend to see some of the same people, so everyone is a little friendlier. Whereas, if this was a public place, the situation might be different.

What what you do if you were walking down the hall and someone was walking towards you?

11.20.06
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Welcome to The Yellow Forest

This is the beginning of something..great. Just kidding. So after all this time, I bought myself a couple domains to play around with. I’m thinking one should be a professional site and the other for fun, for my friends. Due to simple newbiness, I purchased hosting plans for my site that didn’t include php, or some kind of database. So I’m stuck with using blogger, if I want to post this directly to my site. But for now, we will just redirect you here until I have more time to play around with other things.

The Yellow Forest is the site for whatever, pictures, blogging, etc. What does it mean? Well, you’ll have to figure it out on your own. Even though I’m a little embarrassed to say I needed to ask what one part meant. But I probably would have figured it out if I had thought about it for more than a few seconds. :)

Hopefully, while the blog is up, you’ll get a glimpse of my thoughts, my stories, and ramblings. And I hope it will provoke thoughts and be interesting.

Please comment if you take the time to read (and no, you don’t have to register!). At least say hi so I know who’s reading.

With that all said, I welcome you to The Yellow Forest.