Apparently, one sentence posts are lame, so here’s a two sentence post.  J/k.  Here’s a real post.

Today I was having a conversation with someone about how to talk to people and I was giving the tips.  Yes, you read that correctly, I was telling someone how to talk to people.  It’s simple, really.  But how this all started took a long time to develop.  A long time.

I think in the past 8-12 months I somehow lost a part of myself transformed myself.  I think the old me would not ever…EVER…believe that the new me could exist.  Other than my own experiences verifying the change, I have received the comment from more than one person, “Who ARE You?!” based on actions I’ve done or things I’ve said.  “Who ARE You?!,” as in where is the person I used to know, you must be someone else because the real you would never do what you just did.

What’s different?  I think I lost a bit of the fear.  The fear of speaking, of being heard, of participating.  I must be honest to say that part of the old self is still there where the fear creeps up at times and I am back to my old reserved, shy, scared self.  But the new me is more outgoing, more outspoken, more bold and dare I say, more extroverted?  What?! How can that be?  I’m the anti-social one, the one who is scared to death of people, of talking to people, of getting to know people, of letting people get to know me.

How did this happen?  I’m not entirely sure but I have an idea.  Part of it was my own doing.  And a large part of it must be God’s doing because really, as you must all know, the old self could never handle or even imagine handling the new self.  Whether people know it or not, I sometimes throw myself out into uncomfortable situations to train myself to grow.  Forced into uncomfortable positions, you must learn to adapt or fail.  Going into uncomfortable positions enough times, you will learn to adapt and soon, it’ll be hard to imagine what was so difficult in the first place.  Of course I don’t do this ALL the time, but on occasion, it happens.  God plays a big part in this because He really allowed this change in me.  I really doubt there is anyway I would have just made a change like this.  Really, the old self was so so so fearful and to step from there to today is such a huge step that I don’t think I would have been able to reach it on my own.  He slowly put me in different situations that were basically tiny little steps to help me get to this point.  There has been so much growth especially if you read some of my old posts.

Back to the conversation I was having – this someone I was talking to was saying how they might be going to a dinner event but there would be a lot of people there that they didn’t know and that they weren’t comfortable with that – that it would be awkward.  And I exclaimed, “what?! it’s easy, this is how you talk to people…”  Let me tell you how to meet people.  You have a list of default questions that are basically conversation/get-to-know you questions.  You don’t need too many because usually new questions will open up.  Here they are: 1) Depending on the event you are at or who you are with, you can start off with, “How do you know so and so?” or “How did you hear about said event?”  2) “Where are you from?” or “Are you from said location?” 3) “What do you do?”  The goal here is to get people to talk about themselves.  It’s easier for people to answer questions about themselves.  Also, ask open ended questions, not yes-no answer-type questions.  I can lay out many examples of how conversations can continue from this but I’m not going to.  So, whenever I need to talk to new people, I ask those types of questions.  Anyway, these were the tips I gave and do you know what that person said to me?  “I didn’t know you were such a social advocate.”  Ha, that made me laugh a bit inside because either you forgot who I used to be or you never really knew because I never was before but now I am (more).

Other noticeable change that might surprise some people.  I am less scared to pray with people.  Read LESS SCARED, not completely fearless.  It depends on the situation and my mood.  But I have been known to pray for meals with a group of 5-8 people.  Yeah, crazy, I know.  Crazy indeed.  It really depends who is there, what it is about, and how I feel.  Because if I’m feeling good, comfortable with the people, and the topic, I’ve almost felt nothing.  It was, dare I say, easy?  Wow, I better not say too much before everyone starts asking me to pray for them.  Hehe.

I was also talking to a colleague about something and I mentioned that I was more introvert.  They didn’t know what that meant but after I explained it, they’re like, what?  No you’re not.  Hmmm, I guess it’s somewhat fading.

I gave a speech at the end of the tournament dinner.  Yeah, me.  I got up in front of the whole team including coaches and said a few words.  I still remember that a few days before the tourney day and we had carb load at my house, they wanted me to say something but I couldn’t do it.  Finally on the tournament day, though uncomfortable, I did it.  The process of growing to be a “leader” on the football team probably stemmed from God slowly making me comfortable within the team.  Strategically removing certain leaders for whatever reason it would be to have me step up.  It’s kinda crazy.

Lastly, which is more for a different post, I decided to challenge myself earlier this week by going with Exodus to hand out food to homeless people downtown and talk to them.  More on that later because that was a crazy eye opening experience but most of the time as you know, I would never do that.  I would just pass that night.

Things that haven’t changed, I’m still nervous about sharing nights at small group so I don’t go.  That is something to work on, but slowly I’ll get there.  Just need more time because evidently, people can change.

Do I like the new me?  I do.  But I wonder if losing part of the old me is a bad thing.  Am I different?  Is it a bad different?  Will the people who knew me then not like the new me?  It’s tough to say but for now I think it’s okay.

I like the new me.  It’s so much more freeing.  The old me was so trapped.  It was a person who wanted to do all these things and say all these things but was too afraid too.  I feel released.  Refreshed.