Monthly Archives: April 2012

04.18.12
by

Thoughts of Now

I should really be sleeping but I really don’t feel like it.  I’m just going to have a hard time waking up.  Suck.  Oh well.

  • I need to buy shoes for K’s wedding!  Hit up 5 places yesterday – fail.  Need to go to mall.
  • Last week was tolerable.  Today – weird convos.  I don’t get it.
  • Just discovered Scramble with Friends on the phone – how addicting and fun.  I don’t usually play games on the phone.
  • I ran 2 laps around Miramar Lake on Saturday morning – that’s about 10 miles.  If only the La Jolla Half didn’t have hills – then I’d actually feel comfortable.
  • I jacked my ankle 1 week before Mission Bowl – seems like a repeat of many years ago.  This time, it was stupid.  I sacrificed ankle protection for speed.  Dang it.  Oh well – I think some RICE and Ibuprofen shall nurse it back to life by Saturday.  This is also lame because I was going to go running in the morning.  I have been known to pound a jacked up ankle by going running but this time, it hurts pretty bad so I had to opt-out.  Although, I really need to fit in a run this week since the half is next week!! GAH.
  • I still need to post Vegas pics and write about Vegas.
  • R & J’s wedding was pretty awesome!
  • I need to prep some things for K’s bridal shower.
  • I need to roll my 401K over from like 3 years ago.
The end.  Good night.
04.10.12
by

Thoughts of Late

Thoughts of late..yeah it is kind of late…sort of.

Jaeson Ma‘s posts on Facebook have been so good lately – they are so relevant in what I’m going through.

I’m really waiting on God and trusting in Him and His plan.  There are a few opportunities and things unfolding right now.  I’m exploring and not trying to hold back even though I really want to.

The past two days have actually been ok – surprisingly.  I’m also realizing some other things and I think as I come to those realizations and and if things are going as planned – things are somewhat better.  I actually feel good today.  That’s an odd feeling.

——————

Many of you, My children, are projecting out and trying to imagine what will happen in the days ahead. This is a waste of time and presumption, for you never know what tomorrow will bring or how things will play out. You know in part and prophesy in part. You cannot experience or live in the future, and the impatience that comes as a result will take you out of the spiritual flow. You must stay present with Me, says the Lord. I will give you wisdom and direct your steps as you trust in Me here and now.

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

– Marsha Burns

————————-

Trying to be patient.  Trying to hear God and wait on Him.  Waiting on what He’s providing for me.  There are some balls about to be thrown in the air – God can juggle better than me.  I think I will throw more balls in the air.

04.08.12
by

It’s Not Clear…Yet

I’m really tired right now.

I’ve spent a lot of time in thought and prayer and conversations these past few days about what to do with a huge aspect of my life.  I’ve gone around and talked to a lot of different people and I’ve been able to hear what I’ve wanted to hear with the majority of them – however, I’m still a bit hesitant.  I know I still need to check on a few other things that will help make the decision, I’m still not certain.  I couldn’t figure out why for awhile but after talking some more and thinking some more, I know why.  It’s because I’m waiting for God to tell me what to do.  I’m waiting for Him to tell me it’s ok to go.  That’s going to be what helps with the decision.  I need to hear it from Him and I need it to be clear as day.  CLEAR AS DAY.

I’m going to wait it out a little more, check on a few things, wait for things, wait on Him.

04.05.12
by

Crashing

My mental health is being sucked down the drain at a rate faster than I can handle.  This is insane.  Insane.  I can’t do this anymore.  I’m really close to making a very big decision – a decision I never thought I’d make.   I don’t know if it is wise or unwise.  Maybe it is wise.

Maybe I should.  Maybe this is God’s way of telling me to trust Him.

I was so frustrated and distraught today.  I was driving to the beach and just said outloud, “are You here?” – then broke down.

I’m trying to trust and I’m trying to wait on God and it seems to just get harder and harder.

I don’t know what to do…

04.04.12
by

Thoughts of Late

  • I’m really bad at praying in groups.
  • New PR at the lake yesterday – 44:45 – I didn’t think it was possible to go faster.  It really helps when hydrated.
  • I lost $ at Vegas – I wanted to stay longer to win it back.  I can see how gambling can be addicting.
  • Still need to unpack a bunch at the house.
  • And still waiting for God’s perfect timing