San Diego Fair

The San Diego Fair…

I think it was 2 years ago was the first time I actually went to the fair.  All these years of living in SD, I had no idea.  I heard about it but I guess no one I knew really went to it so I never thought anything about it.  The fair is an experience I think people should try once.  One year we went like 3x in one week – that was a bit of an overload.

We went at a good time this year.  It was on a Tuesday and we got tickets for $4!  I think it’s normally $15-20.  It was not nearly as crowded which was really really nice.  I’ve been on the weekends before and it is insane.  I think since it is so early in the “season” it was less crowded as well.  Lines were short for food and to get in.  There was parking available at Horse Park and getting to the parking wasn’t bad at all.

This year we tried fried avocado, fried oreos, some people tried the waffle dog – hot dog wrapped in a waffle.  Got some strawberry lemonade from the gingerbread house as usual.  Australia battered potatoes covered in cheese & ranch – delish!

I don’t really do rides and I’m actually not a huge fan of the fried stuff but I do like to on occasion try my luck at carnival games.  Basically tossing money away to win stuffed animals that just sit there but it’s more about conquering the game!

The first game we played was regulation rim free throw shooting with a kobe blocking the way – $5 and you have to make 8 shots in 15 seconds.  Totally seems doable..right?  I did terribly.  You have to shoot fast and you can’t watch your shot – that makes it difficult.  And you also have to get the balls quickly.  I don’t think I made any lol.

Next game was the football one.  Throw the football into the star hole.  2 years ago when I asked the guy to show me if the ball fit – he threw a hissy fit.  Turns out at that time the ball didn’t really fit – you had to jam it in.  This time they showed me, it had about an inch or so around it.  J told me to aim for the higher one which was a good idea because previously I aimed for the middle one which is slightly low.  I aimed for the top left one – it looked “bigger”.  2 throws – $5.  They had my ball which made me very excited and more hopeful.  First throw was close but the second throw was even closer!! I think it got rejected by the star point.  I had to leave because I knew I wanted to play again because I was so close and there was the potential of throwing down a lot of money.

F tried her luck at trying to win another jersey playing basketball but it was difficult this time.  And the jersey she wanted was only at one basketball game so that was kind of lame that she couldn’t try at different places.  I think they had it at more basketball games last year.  J try to win the jersey for her.  The thing with this basketball game is that if you want the jersey you have to pay $5 for only 1 shot.  You can pay $5 for 3 shots but then you can only win a stuffed animal if you make it.  J’s first shot was really off – too high – too hard.  Later on he decided to warm up with the 3 shots and then go for the jersey after that.  What  happens next?  He makes the first shot….but he can’t win the jersey cause he paid for the 3 shots.  So he can only win a stuffed animal!!  lol lame.  F. tries her luck again – no cigar.

I play a dart game to try and win a huskie – basically paid $10 for it lol.

On our way out I wanted to play the football game again.  I felt like it was doable.  I was close.  I didn’t care about the prizes lol I just wanted to make it in the star.  So this time I picked to go for the top right since J asked which side I usually throw on – right side.  Made sense.  Should have thought of that before – I never throw left lol unless its to C on the 7.  First shot wasn’t as close as when I played earlier – it hit the right side of the star…ugh.  By this time more people had gathered around.  I was nervous.  I could feel my legs quivering.  I stepped pretty far back – I liked that distance better.  It would give the ball time to level out into a spiral.  I was getting ready to throw but people walking by were too close to me so I waited a moment.  Then I flip the ball a few times in my hand.  Bring it up.  Throw it.  BAM!  Bullet THROUGH THE STAR!!!!!  WHAT!?!??!? I MADE IT!! I DID IT!! I THREW IT IN THE STAR!!! lol.  I was so excited I jumped up and down.  I can’t believe I ACTUALLY did it.  Though I thought I could do it – I didn’t think I would actually do it!!  I won something – I didn’t even know what to pick cause I didn’t even really care for those prizes lol.  The only jersey that was my size was a Rivers Chargers jersey but it was all girly and ugly.  I got a Colts Luck one.  It’s oversized. Oh well.  Haha,  Yay!!  That was the most exciting thing – actually throwing it in.  :)

Finished the fair off looking at a few of the scam exhibits.

Waited 1.5 hours to get on the bus to go back to horse park.  Note to everyone – do not wait until the end – else you will have to wait FOREVER.

Oh yeah, I also really liked the theme this year – games.  It was cute and nostalgic and a good idea!  The exhibit was neat and a great way to make more money lol.

Thoughts of Late

Worrying causes anxiety.  Worrying causes thoughts of impending doom.  However, it has been very difficult to not worry about this stupid bump on my neck.  I think about it all the time – throughout the day – when I’m in front of the mirror – when I feel that pressure.  I start feeling other symptoms that may or may not be there.  I start thinking about how maybe x, y, z is causing x, y, and z.

I don’t see the doc until Thursday and even then I doubt she will be able to diagnose anything without sending me to a specialist.

I’m trying not to think about it so much and just act and feel normal because it just worries me and makes me feel bad when I think about it.

I do actually remember something though…I remember that in high school, I had a similar bump on my neck and it also hurt.  That’s kind of how I found out about my thyroid problem.  That bump went away – I’m not sure how cause I think it wasn’t in the thyroid spot.

I’m keeping a close eye on other symptoms.  I getting weird paranoid thoughts that maybe the reason this is all happening is because of this little thing on my forearm that hasn’t healed for months – but really it might be because I’ve been picking at it.  Or maybe I think that my body is crumbling – thus all the injuries because something is wrong with me.  Today I felt like I was getting head pains on my right side.  Then I also start thinking about how my body is cracking a lot and maybe something is wrong with me that is causing all these problems.  Then I start thinking I have some type of cancer that is eating away at my body and that my life is about to turn completely upside down and then I start thinking of extremely depressing things.

I might be overreacting.  In fact, I really hope this is all just an overreaction.  I am very good at overreacting, exaggerating, and jumping to conclusions.  Maybe something plain and simple is wrong but is easily diagnosed and cured.  Maybe I’m just allergic to something and once we figure that out it’ll all go away.  This is me trying to be positive.

Bleh – can’t wait to figure this out soon enough and for the bump and swelling in the neck and pressure to go away.  :(

I’m scared…

I’m scared that something is seriously wrong with me.  It’s been a little over a month and the bump on my neck is still there.  Not only that but I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure in the neck/throat area..  It’s like a constant pressure of a shirt collar too tight or someone lightly gripping your throat.  I can feel that my thyroid is pretty enlarged.  I was thinking that maybe it’s my thyroid acting up – after all, that is one of the systems.  I kept waiting for the pressure to go away.  It hasn’t.  I just got lab work done for my thyroid – everything is still in range.  They want me to lessen the meds even more – they’ve been trying to take me off it.  But something doesn’t feel right.  I’m not sick anymore so if the lymph nodes were fighting infection – they should be done and it should shrink.  The bump on the side is there.  Does it hurt?  It doesn’t hurt per se but it has a dull sensation.  Then I started noticing the way my neck looked in some recent pictures and how it looked like there was a slight bump or enlargement on the right side.  So I look at my neck and sure enough – the right front side is slightly larger than the left side.  Now that is making me even more worried.  Perhaps the cause of the pressure.  I’m really so paranoid right now.  I’m starting to think about whether I have additional symptoms.  Or I’m thinking that stuff which may not be actual symptoms might have something to do with it.  For example, this scab on my arm that won’t seem to heal.  But it could be because I’ve been picking at it – I have picky fingers.  I kept reopening it.  It’s been there for months.  Or that my eyes have been really irritated lately.  I thought it was swimming.  Maybe its my contacts.  Maybe it was getting them sunburned last weekend.  It still is irritating.   I’m searching for other symptoms – fatigue?  I think I’ve been mostly okay.  The doc did tell me I was anemic randomly and to take iron pills.  That’s weird – how can I be anemic.  I eat a lot of red meat.  So that concerns me.  I just want to feel okay – feel normal – be healthy.  Worrying doesn’t do anything.  True but i don’t know how to not worry.  It’s really bothering me.  Google is unfriendly – nearly every type of search is pulling up stuff about cancer.  That really scares me.  That, I think would be the worse thing ever.  That is really what is in the back of my mind every day.  I try to get my mind off of it and not think about it but with the constant pressure in my throat/neck – I can’t not think about it.  Geez, what if I have cancer… Maybe I’m overreacting – I’m really good at that and I’m really good at exaggerating and having wild thoughts and jump to conclusion thoughts and paranoia.  Maybe it’s nothing.  I’m going to the doc again next week.  I’m assuming she’ll just send me to a specialist so I’ll have to wait longer.  I hope there’s nothing seriously wrong with me.  I hope whatever it is, they can cure and fix quickly.  I hope I don’t have cancer.  I realize that none of this is in my control.  None of it.  I need to really focus on God and know that He is in control.  If you read this, please pray for me.  Pray for healing for my body.  Pray for nothing serious.  Pray that they will find out what is wrong and fix it quickly.  Pray for peace of mind – I’m really stressed by this.  Thanks.