Worrying causes anxiety.  Worrying causes thoughts of impending doom.  However, it has been very difficult to not worry about this stupid bump on my neck.  I think about it all the time – throughout the day – when I’m in front of the mirror – when I feel that pressure.  I start feeling other symptoms that may or may not be there.  I start thinking about how maybe x, y, z is causing x, y, and z.

I don’t see the doc until Thursday and even then I doubt she will be able to diagnose anything without sending me to a specialist.

I’m trying not to think about it so much and just act and feel normal because it just worries me and makes me feel bad when I think about it.

I do actually remember something though…I remember that in high school, I had a similar bump on my neck and it also hurt.  That’s kind of how I found out about my thyroid problem.  That bump went away – I’m not sure how cause I think it wasn’t in the thyroid spot.

I’m keeping a close eye on other symptoms.  I getting weird paranoid thoughts that maybe the reason this is all happening is because of this little thing on my forearm that hasn’t healed for months – but really it might be because I’ve been picking at it.  Or maybe I think that my body is crumbling – thus all the injuries because something is wrong with me.  Today I felt like I was getting head pains on my right side.  Then I also start thinking about how my body is cracking a lot and maybe something is wrong with me that is causing all these problems.  Then I start thinking I have some type of cancer that is eating away at my body and that my life is about to turn completely upside down and then I start thinking of extremely depressing things.

I might be overreacting.  In fact, I really hope this is all just an overreaction.  I am very good at overreacting, exaggerating, and jumping to conclusions.  Maybe something plain and simple is wrong but is easily diagnosed and cured.  Maybe I’m just allergic to something and once we figure that out it’ll all go away.  This is me trying to be positive.

Bleh – can’t wait to figure this out soon enough and for the bump and swelling in the neck and pressure to go away.  :(