Sometimes I feel like we are too absorbed in our Christian bubble. Have you ever tried to think about how all the things we understand or the things we do so naturally and make so much sense to us look from the outside?

Does it make us look like we think we are better than everyone else? It’s hard, because I don’t know the answers. I’m not good with words.

Tonight I entered in a conversation with someone that really made me feel inadequate and somewhat like a failure. I felt like I was acting on the defense and maybe even sounded offended when it wasn’t intended to be. How do you go about explaining that what I’m involved in and what I know and what I believe is something I want you to know and experience because it is good and has nothing to do with me. I don’t get brownie points. It doesn’t work that way.

How do you go about explaining that we are not here to judge but by speaking those very words, perhaps you are judging? How do you share that there is so much more to it than what they know, for determining that and offering that is either judgement or lifting yourself up to be higher or better than them. At least that’s what it looks like.

How do you display through actions and reveal that there’s more, there’s something different, there’s something better? How do you make them feel that this is not a scheme, it’s not a whole plot out there, it’s not meant to be pushy or aggressive, but meant to be an invitation?

Tonight, I felt like any seed that was ever planted was basically ripped out due to my inability to speak in the right words, that actually my actions have led to more pushing away than pulling in.

I’m sorry. I just want you to know what I know but I don’t know how to say it.