Thinking about Team United 2013…

What’s in store?

Did you know that Team United changes lives?

I want to say that life isn’t supposed to be stressful.  Is that true?  It isn’t supposed to be?  Maybe it is.

The past 2 months of my life have been fairly calm and unstressful.  Most things have been pretty gravy with the exception of my injuries.  Sometimes I wonder if God puts people into situations where they’ll seek Him because otherwise, they might not.  It’s pretty easy to put God aside when you don’t desperately need something.  At least I find myself doing that sometimes.  Prior to the last 2 months, I was in one of the worst shapes (emotionally) in my life.  Day in and day out, I dreaded each day.  I felt like I was sinking into a depression.  I seeked God with a desperation that I haven’t experienced before – asking Him, pleading for Him to save me.  Seeking him constantly.  Constantly.  And save me He  did.  And as I find myself in a situation that is so far opposite from what I was experiencing before, I also know that I haven’t been seeking God as desperately, with such fervor, with such frequency as before.  Sounds bad, but it’s true.

And as I find myself dealing with this stupid knee and ankle injury that has been lingering, I find myself wondering if this is part of God’s plan to make me come back and seek Him more.  I know, I know.  Blaming God for my problems, right?  But maybe He does do things like that.  He puts you in situations to learn, to bring you closer to Him, to rely on Him.  Because it’s weird.  It’s been nearly 2 months since I’ve been pretty off my legs.  Why isn’t it getting better?  The ankle is especially weird.  Normal ankle injuries hurt for a few weeks but then they’re fine after.  How can it still be messed up after 2 months?!?!  That is a little odd.  The knee, the knee has actually been feeling worse this week.  I’m a little skeptical of this physical therapy business.  I find myself wallowing in self-pity because I can’t participate in things.  I know, people are worse off.  At least I can walk, at least I have legs – you can go on and on.  But, I will still wallow in my self-pity.  I used to be able to just run and play football, basketball, volleyball, softball, run, frisbee – anything – jump down stairs, bootcamp, anything with quick movement.  Now I can just walk and even walking sometimes hurts.  Sleeping hurts my leg when I toss and turn.  Walking down the stairs hurts.  Seems far from getting better.  I’ve prayed about it some but I guess I haven’t gotten to the point where I am desperately asking God to heal me.  However, as I’m thinking more and more about my lack of progress – I’m getting there and maybe that’s where He wants me.

But then it worries me, what if my legs get better, then what?  What else is going to happen where God is going to want me to desperately seek Him even though I should do it all the time – in good times and bad?  This is where fearing God comes to life.  Although, I’m not sure it should be this way.  I’m not sure of much.

And talk about added on stress that hadn’t been on my mind for awhile.  I feel a little abandoned.  And it kind of sucks.  But I think I need to spend some time thinking about this new situation before writing more about it.

I guess life can only be stress-free for so long.  Until God wants your attention.

I was pretty productive today considering it was a weekday.

I got an oil change.

I went to physical therapy.

I got a flu shot.

I watched almost a full basketball game + returned my jersey.

I went to the market.

I made dinner.

Oh, and somewhere along the line, I also went to work.

Cheers to productivity.  Prayers for healing legs.

Boo.  I thought my ankle was actually feeling a little better.  It did yesterday.  Not today.

Today would have also been a great day for a run.  Still craving the run which is a bit surprising.  Maybe I’m just craving movement all together.  Craving the run.  Blech.  It’ll be more difficult to actually do than imagine when I get back to it.

I shot around after work for about 45 minutes and then decided I would go to the gym to try and bike or elliptical some and maybe do some push ups and situps.  Someone left the radio on in the gym so I just turned it up a bit and hopped on the elliptical.  I was the only one in the gym so it was actually kind of nice to have the place to myself.  Good news is that the elliptical didn’t hurt my knee!  Bad news is that my knee was kind of popping.  I was going to do 20 minutes but decided that I probably shouldn’t be over eager so I cut it down to 10 minutes.  Anyway…about a few minutes in, this guy comes into the gym and he changes the radio station.  That’s weird.

It’s weird to change the radio station when one other person is in the gym.  You would assume, or I would assume that the one person there must have selected the station and is listening to it.  I didn’t have headphones or anything so it’s not like I was listening to something else.  He changes the station to KLOVE.  That’s even more weird!  This guy just changed it to a Christian radio station while one other person is in the gym.  That’s pretty bold.  Really bold.  You changed my radio station and you changed it to a Christian radio station, what if I’m not Christian?

So I thought, oh, maybe this is his way of evangelizing or maybe he’s going to evangelize to me.  That’d be cool, meeting another Christian equals instant connection (generally).  Making friends would be nice too. Anyway, so I said, God, if this guy is a Christian, make him talk to me.  Hahahaha.  I was thinking, oh, he put on KLOVE, if he’s a Christian, we’ll  have something to talk about.  In the meantime, I’m just doing my push ups and situps and he’s using weights.  Then this other guy comes into the gym to do some free weights.  This was one of the guys that was also shooting around on the other end of the court earlier.  Anyway, as I’m in between sets, the guy that changed the station says, “Excuse me, do you know if they have any more towels in the women’s locker room?”  I was like, I’m not sure, but I can go check.  He’s like, oh yeah, just whenever you’re done, no rush.  But as I looked at him, I thought, wow he’s really like dripping sweat.  I should check now.  Haha.  So I’m like, oh, it’s okay, I can go look now.  So I went and grabbed a towel for him.  When I came back, the radio station had changed.

I went back to my workout and thought, ok, well, he talked to me but it wasn’t what I expected, but maybe that’s because someone else was in here.  And I thought, well maybe I should ask him about the radio station now that he broke the ice.  But, I was chicken.  Back to working out.

Then he goes, you shoot around a lot?  (He must have been watching me shoot around earlier).  I was like yeah, sometimes.  He asked if I played in a league.  I said yeah, but not now, I’m injured, yada yada yada.  He mentioned that he got injured too and it took him like a year to get back to normal.  I figured it was enough conversation to break the ice so I said, did you pick the station earlier?  KLOVE?  He’s like, yeah.  I was like, are you a Christian?  He’s like no.  I thought, well, that just crushed everything hahahahhaa.  He’s like, yeah I just heard some music.  Did you want to listen to it?  I was like, no, just wondering.  Then I asked if he worked at the offices here and he does work for the same company.  In fact, there’s a high chance that I’d actually be working with him.  Lol.  So, I guess I sort of got to know someone, barely.  Anyway, he finished up his workout and left, so I was like, see you around.

Hmm, I think God was like, you should be evangelizing to him!  Haha.  Also, I guess people really do stumble upon KLOVE.

See, this would have almost been a good story, but I guess it didn’t make for a bad one.  Maybe, I can make a new friend.

I feel so left out now that I can’t go run and exercise with everyone.

Man, tossing a football around is fun even though my leg is broken.  So fun!

Bought some insoles today – maybe they’ll help my feet, knee, ankle stop hurting.  About 3-4 people asked me if I needed help while I was looking at them.  I asked if they got commission.  The chick said they get like 50 cents for insoles.  50 cents??!  Are you kidding me??  lol

I caught the bouquet at G&E’s wedding!  LOL.

Loitered in the parking lot for 3 hours tonight!  Wow, haven’t done that in awhile.  It was kind of fun.

Hope this week isn’t as boring.  Haha.

Man, my right wrist is hurting again.  I wonder if it’s from the push ups this time.

Today, I feel lonely.  =/