Today was actually kind of relaxing which was nice.  I did “nothing” for a good part of the day.  It was so restful.  I haven’t had time to do that in a LONG time.  It was nice to that Memorial Day off.

However, the week begins again so let’s rock and roll.

Try to keep things moving.  Try to seek God’s word for things that are going on in my life instead of Google.  Pray more for other people.  Try to stay positive.  Try to keep chugging along.

[When everything is wrong, we move along

(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through]
-All American Rejects

I’m not sure about much these days.  =

I don’t know what I want.  I don’t know what God wants.

I don’t know what to do.  I think I’m after something but I’m holding myself back.  It’s getting so confusing that it’s all a blur and everything is just unclear.  It’s like a glimmer of hope, following a string, that leads to nowhere.

I’m slowly opening pandora’s box.

[So when will this end? It goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won’t stop
Till I step down from this

Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle, yeah
Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle yeah]
-LIFEHOUSE

I just don’t want to deal with any of it anymore.

I know, nobody said it was easy.

It’s late, it’s late.  However, I’m up because I am MAXIMIZING MY POTENTIAL! lol.  =P

I was over at C. place reading these papers she had that someone gave her a long time ago about how to “maximize your potential”.  There were 5 steps:  Vision, Daily Action, Sustaining Energy, Gratitude, and I can’t remember the last one haha.  However, the one about sustaining energy was one of the ones that kind of stuck out to me.  It was about taking action because a lot of the times when you feel bogged down and feel like you don’t have the strength or energy to do something – you can choose to do nothing and soak in your lack of energy or motivation or get up and move because once you start moving, you will have that energy.  (Wow that was a long sentence)

Sometimes I find myself not taking action and I know this and it’s hard for me.  But since I was inspired by what I read, I decided to take some more action this evening.

Oh yeah and I have a new goal which is to try to be more positive – which is hard because I’m negative Nancy.  See, even that statement itself is negative.  It’s all about perspective and how you choose to view things, so I’m going to TRY to be more positive and see what happens in life.

Back to reality.

I’m glad to be back where there is fresh air, where there are western style toilets, and where I can sleep in my own bed.

It’s been great to hang out with all my friends again.

It was great to go on a run.

I’m a little sick.

I’m not really jet lagged…surprisingly.  We’ll see if I can wake up in the morning.

Not looking forward to the daily grind though.  =

• To speak with tact and professionalism while getting your point across without offending anyone or putting yourself in a awkward position – desired or acquired skill.
• Half Marathon complete.
• Toast 80% complete.
• Mission Bowl complete.  FTW.
• Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll actually succeed.
• It still upsets me when the words are uttered.  Yes, I am bitter.
• Taiwan coming up quick.

Thoughts of late..yeah it is kind of late…sort of.

Jaeson Ma‘s posts on Facebook have been so good lately – they are so relevant in what I’m going through.

I’m really waiting on God and trusting in Him and His plan.  There are a few opportunities and things unfolding right now.  I’m exploring and not trying to hold back even though I really want to.

The past two days have actually been ok – surprisingly.  I’m also realizing some other things and I think as I come to those realizations and and if things are going as planned – things are somewhat better.  I actually feel good today.  That’s an odd feeling.

——————

Many of you, My children, are projecting out and trying to imagine what will happen in the days ahead. This is a waste of time and presumption, for you never know what tomorrow will bring or how things will play out. You know in part and prophesy in part. You cannot experience or live in the future, and the impatience that comes as a result will take you out of the spiritual flow. You must stay present with Me, says the Lord. I will give you wisdom and direct your steps as you trust in Me here and now.

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

– Marsha Burns

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Trying to be patient.  Trying to hear God and wait on Him.  Waiting on what He’s providing for me.  There are some balls about to be thrown in the air – God can juggle better than me.  I think I will throw more balls in the air.

I’m really tired right now.

I’ve spent a lot of time in thought and prayer and conversations these past few days about what to do with a huge aspect of my life.  I’ve gone around and talked to a lot of different people and I’ve been able to hear what I’ve wanted to hear with the majority of them – however, I’m still a bit hesitant.  I know I still need to check on a few other things that will help make the decision, I’m still not certain.  I couldn’t figure out why for awhile but after talking some more and thinking some more, I know why.  It’s because I’m waiting for God to tell me what to do.  I’m waiting for Him to tell me it’s ok to go.  That’s going to be what helps with the decision.  I need to hear it from Him and I need it to be clear as day.  CLEAR AS DAY.

I’m going to wait it out a little more, check on a few things, wait for things, wait on Him.