The past week has been incredibly stressful. I definitely felt the effects mentally and physically. There are so many things constantly going on. I’m constantly in a rush. I feel like I can’t breathe. Inside of me, I feel tense. All the time. I need to do this and this and that. I need to finish this by today. I need to find time to do this other thing. But I don’t have time because I’m trying to do this. And then another request. It’s non-stop. Plus things go wrong so I have to try and fix things. I don’t even have time to eat lunch. I guess it was also obvious that things were hitting me hard this week because I received multiple comments about how I seemed to be pretty impatient with things this week. I didn’t realize that it was that obvious that things were getting to me and that I was acting that differently. At times I felt like I just needed to leave the office. Get some air before I couldn’t breathe anymore. By the time it hit Friday, I was drained. I felt like I couldn’t even think anymore. I think exercising might help some of the stress. Besides, I need it anyway. I hope next week is better. I need to spend lunch time not at my desk. I need to not think about work at home and I definitely need to not think about it as I’m trying to fall asleep at night.

Must remember to breathe.

I don’t like meetings. I hardly ever say anything in meetings unless necessary (when someone is speaking directly to me). I know its odd. But its just very difficult for me to do. I don’t communicate well verbally. During meetings, sometimes things go on in my head. I’m thinking of the words I would say and they just circle around in my head. But I can’t get them out. People don’t seem to understand what the problem is or why it is so difficult. They tell me to just do it. Just blurt it out. I can’t. It happens not only in meetings but in many other situations. I’ll want to say something and I’m saying it in my head but I can’t say it out loud. I know it looks pretty bad in meetings. Honestly, if I was in a meeting and I saw someone never say anything, I would think that’s odd too. And I know it doesn’t look too good that I never contribute. It’s difficult and I have to force myself a lot of times even to just answer questions directed towards me. But I know I have to work on it. Its harder than you think.